65 Days: Cling Ons

Remember Tom Cruise back before he went completely crazy and married Katie Holmes?  Yeah, I do too. I miss the Top Gun and Jerry Maguire days.  But about 6 years ago Tom Cruise went off the deep-end, became a Scientologist (whatever that is), hopped up and down on Oprah's couch, and married a knocked-up Katie Holmes.  Or maybe she got knocked up after they got married....  It doesn't matter.   The point of this story is that they had a daughter named Suri who captivated US Weekly readers everywhere with her adorable brown hair and designer outfits.

Well, Suri, almost 5, has been largely out of the news lately. Except just last week I saw an article about her and her pacifier that she apparently still uses with regularity.

^^^^Proof^^^^

Now I'm no expert, but it appears to some commentators that 5 is a bit too old to still use an item that is really intended for the under-2 crowd. (But honestly, I am pretty sure that I was still using a pacifier when I was 11, so I am not judging). 

By now you might be wondering why a blog that heretofore has been dedicated to my weight loss journey is harping on Suri Cruise and her weird little obsession with her binky.  Well, friends, I am trying to set up an elaborate metaphor.

Today I am Suri Cruise's pacifier.  And playing the role of Suri Cruise:

*drumroll please*

MOTHER F***ING 134.0. 

Why, oh why, OH WHY can't the 134s let me go?  Seriously! I haven't checked, but I think that over 1/3 of the blog has been dedicated to getting out of the goddamned 134s.  I've never experienced such a clingy relationship with a number on the scale before. 

There are literally Cling-Ons on my Starboard Boughs. 

I am not sure what happened.  Just for the record here are the stats:

Calories consumed: 900 (I thought that would be fool-proof the day before the weigh-in...and the last 100 of those were a handful of prunes before bed. So again, no idea how this happened). 

Exercise: 50 minutes walking 3.5 mph 

Weight: 134.0 +0.6 from yesterday, -4.0 lbs overall

I am not going to wonder how or why this happened. Actually, that's not true. Evidently, this entire thing could have been avoided if I had just eaten with my left hand and imagined myself thin yesterday.  I also should have put the Quiznos sandwich that I ate on a smaller plate. That would have done it. 

Anyway, what's on the menu today? Well, I am still getting my hair done which should be a lot of fun. 

I am also using today to figure out once and for all how many calories are in my favorite sushi roll from Whole Foods.  I intend to purchase 2 rolls.  1 that I will eat and enjoy.  And 1 that I will dissect like a laboratory frog to weigh each of its components using my handy-dandy food scale. 

But today the closest that I am getting to a pedicure is this: