25 Days Until Gown: BOOM Baby!!

MWAH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!  Oh, silly scale.  I have bested you yet again.

Alright, I am sure that everyone knows that this weigh-in was Wine-Assisted. How else do you explain a nearly 2 pound drop overnight.?   What can I say?  I had just finished my last class EVER as a law student and I was ready to do some celebrating (some very well-earned, three-years-in-the-making celebrating).

So let's catch everyone up since the last time I posted (not including yesterday's "I'll call you when I get there to let you know I'm not dead" post).

I believe last time I posted was the morning after the Moot Court Banquet (a Diet Abandonment Event) and I was weighing in at a Wine-Assisted 125.0   Well, since then I was staying hydrated, studying, sticking to the diet (with the exception of a couple ridiculously cheesy slices of pizza on Saturday) and was able to get down to 125.4 with fluids.  Then that brings me to today's weigh in.  123.6.  Heh.  I haven't seen that number on the scale since about August 2009.  Not too shabby with or without a Wine-Assist.  (and it's a good pound and a half less than my last Wine-Assisted weigh-in, so it's progress).

What else is new?  I have a gown!!  Or at least the beginning stages of one.  I went to my seamstress to try on what she's done so far and was really pleased.  The thing makes me look SO skinny! I want to post a picture but I don't want to spoil the fun!  (I don't know if anyone is paying attention, but the only more closely guarded secret than Kate Middleton's wedding dress is my wedding dress). No really. It's super mega secret. At 3.5 weeks out, even I don't know what the final product is going to look like.  Top that, Waity Katie.

But what I do know: the thing is slimming.

Anyway, I am off to study some more, do the 30 Day Shred (it's gotten a lot easier...I feel a bit silly for demonizing it so much before), and then celebrate some pretty awesome things at my favorite sushi joint.  Can't top that!

29, 28, 27, 26 Days Until Gown: FINAL EXAMS

It's exam time ya'll.

Chunky Bride (sorry! it still sticks!) has been soooooo busy studying and making sure that I still graduate from law school that I haven't had a chance to write.

Tomorrow I will do a legitimate blog post, but I wanted to do this one quickly so no one worries that I've died.

For today, I will rely on my brother and his girlfriend's old standby and mention that I am weighing in at 125.4 without any semblance of a hangover.

Oh! And in other news, I've been actually doing the 30 Day Shred.  I am seeing the beginnings of "abs" on my ridiculous torso.

More tomorrow!

30 Days Until Gown: It's FRIDAY

Okay.  So unless you've been living under a rock for the last few weeks there is this song called "Friday" by Rebecca Black that's been taking the Internet by storm.  I highly suggest listening to it as I explain yesterday's shortcomings because no matter how much I epically failed at my diet yesterday, it's still no match for the epic fail that is this music video. 

Exercise:  None...No, wait! I did clean up the house pretty thoroughly so at least I wasn't just sitting around studying.  That counts right? Right?

Calories Consumed: 1731.  Yikes. That's considerably higher than 1200. To be fair, a lot of those were from edamame, artichokes, and low-fat turkey burger patties.  But to also be honest, a lot of them were from the most delicious sauvignon blanc I've had in a really long time. 

Weight: 125.0!!!!!!!!!  

Yet again! We learn that cheating has its moments of triumph. This weight-loss machine is currently running on the fumes of dehydration, but I don't care! (Until tomorrow anyway!) 

So I am just going to go ahead and pretend that this is completely legitimate and brag about it. 

-13.0 since beginning the blog; -15.0 since the Oscars; -0.4 since yesterday

Remember back in the beginning of the blog when I said that I had lost a couple sticks of butter?  I enjoyed that visualization because it made me feel like I was really doing something! Well, try this on for size.  15 pounds is the equivalent of the largest size bag of cat food that they sell at my local Petco. 

That's a lot of kibble. 

But today is Saturday and the Shred awaits so I must go! Wish me luck! 

31 Days Until Gown: A Gripe

Well last night was the Moot Court banquet.  A pre-determined, Diet Abandonment (DA) event.

How'd I do?

Exercise: Danced my bootie off!
Calories: No idea, and it would completely defeat the purpose of DA to try to ascertain the calories consumed.
Weight: 125.4 (although I am sure that the wine is helping me out here) (-0.2 (or potentially -0.8) since yesterday's Sorting Scale incident; -12.6 since starting the blog; -14.6 since the Oscars).

I actually did not get a chance to eat a whole lot at the banquet--which was sort of a bummer given that it was a DA event.  I had to help with giving out the awards right after the buffet was opened and I was too busy mingling to really get a chance to eat the tray-passed hors d'oeuvres, but the stuff I did eat was pretty decadent (bacon-wrapped fried shrimp comes to mind....)

I am so not looking forward to tomorrow's weigh-in.

In fact, here's some photographic proof of today's weigh in.  I include this only because I anticipate that I will be bummed out tomorrow and this might serve as a nice little reminder of the good-ole-days.

Sigh....I'll enjoy it while it lasts. 

Oh!  I have a gripe!  Yes, a gripe. All this talk about upwards fluctuations reminds me that I am a little irked at myfitnesspal.  One of my all time favorite features on the fitness pal is the graph that charts my weight loss.  It's an excellent tool for days where my weight fluctuates upwards because the visual of the chart reminds me that in the big-picture I am still losing weight.  See chart: 

Well.  That tool has one major shortcoming.  It only tracks, like, 30 days worth of weigh ins---which is really annoying when that hacks off like 8 pounds worth of work. Do you see the top of that chart which appears to be hovering around 132 or something?!  Well, that particular weigh-in up there came on the heels of an ENTIRE MARDI GRAS without so much as a sip of beer or a tasty parade-route snack.  

I WANT CREDIT FOR TIME SERVED, DAMNIT!  So I am going to write a letter to the fitnesspal people asking them to please correct this defect because it is quite discouraging.   In fact, I am going to suggest they change their name to "myfitnessacquaintance" because no "pal" of mine would ever disregard 8 pounds worth of dieting and exercise during the most decadent time of the year. 

Hmph. 

32 days until gown: The Sorting Scale

So I finalllly did the Shred. It wasn't horrible, but my arms have definitely felt better. I will say that that workout hurt enough that I simply will NOT tolerate an upwards fluctuation on the scale today. Which brings me to....

The Sorting Scale.

The Sorting Scale is the name I've adopted for my goofy scale on days when it seems to bounce back and forth between two weights before finally settling on one. For readers who aren't total geeks, this concept is a play on the Sorting Hat in Harry Potter that uses a combination of factors (not least of all including the preference of the hat-wearer)to place the hat-wearer in one of the houses at Hogwarts. I could go on, but I won't.

Anyway, this morning I had a bit of a Sorting Scale situation. The Scale seemed to be torn between whether I should be 126.2 or 125.6.

There's an obvious choice here, people! But nevertheless it settled on 126.2. After I did the Shred. With my muscles burning. Well I stared at it's choice. Blinked a couple times. I double checked. Affirmed.

And that's when I decided: over my. dead. body.

So I waited an hour, took off my jewelry, forced myself to pee (there must be some far-off corner of the human bladder that I didn't know about to make that happen), and spit in the sink like 10 times.

Tried again.

Weight:125.6

IT COUNTS

Will attach photographic proof when I get to a real computer.

PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF:

33 Days to the Gown: Walking on Sunshine

I have nothing but good things to report today!

Calories Consumed: 1183 (including 56 grams of protein and only 18 grams of fat)

Exercise: 60 minutes; walking 3.0 mph; whilst carrying the amount of weight I've lost so far in a bag.

Weight: A completely hydrated and legitimate 125.8 (-0.6 since yesterday; -12.2 since beginning blog; -14.2 since the Oscars)

Oh, what the heck, let's throw in a Scale Shot to mark the occasion:

And I have an interview!!  Yay!  It's with a great law firm downtown in New Orleans and I am super excited and nervous at the same time.  I don't want to get my hopes up to much, but this is definitely a good thing so I am going to just be happy for now.  This Bride is now accepting all good vibes, thoughts, prayers, and major credit cards.

In wedding news, my shoes (revised from before) arrived in the mail.  They are literally the most comfortable dress shoes--heck, most comfortable shoes in general (aside from Lucy and Ricky, of course)--that I've ever tried on in my life.  Ever.  I am so glad I made the switch.

OUT. 

I am guessing I would have looked back and cringed one day.  And after about 30 minutes of standing would have been cringing that day too. 

IN.  

Classier, I think.  And more comfortable.  And more "seersucker wedding gownish"

What else is new?  Well, not a whole lot!

Tonight one of my friends and bridesmaids is coming over to force me to do the Shred.  I am not looking forward to doing it, but I am glad to have company---misery always loves company--and someone to force me not to stop after minute 8. 

I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow--assuming, of course, I can actually use the muscles in my hands to type. 

I'm out! 

EDIT: I accidentally put 135.8 earlier, but I have corrected it to 125.8.  If I woke up weighing 135.8 I would not be walking on sunshine, I'd be walking off the nearest tall building after wondering how I gained nearly 8 pounds overnight. 

34 Days Until Gown: Diet Abandonment

Calories consumed: 1166 (including far too much pickled cauliflower for my blood pressure's own good)
Weight: 126.4 (-1.2 since yesterday's catastrophe, -11.6 since beginning the blog, -13.6 since the Oscars,  and I am quite confident that I am as hydrated as I can be)

Okay, given today's decent weigh-in, I feel like I might have overreacted a bit to yesterday's set back.  I ought to know better than to think that you can gain a pound and a half from going roughly 400 calories over the limit in one weekend because I know that a pound of body fat is equivalent to about 3500 calories--incidentally, I don't like to use the blog to preach weight loss tips (at least not the scientific kind) because I am by no means an expert, but thermodynamically that's just the truth. If nothing else, I probably should have saved my "Oh Fortuna" clip for when something worse happens.  Oh, well.

Today's topic: Diet Abandonment (or "DA").

You might be wondering: what is DA?

Well, similarly to "cheating," DA involves deviating from the BBR in its strictest form.  Indeed, both cheating and DA involve consuming more calories than the BBR permits.  However a major distinction between cheating and DA is that DA typically involves planned-ahead, unavoidable splurginess.  Cheating, on the other hand, is a momentary loss of willpower in the face of--usually unanticipated--temptation.  For example, attending a "wedding cake tasting" is a case of DA; it's unavoidable and expected that you will eat cake at the event.  The only issue up for debate is how much cake you will eat.  By contrast, when attending a run-of-the-mill BBQ if you succumb to the chocolatey goodness of a platter of cupcakes, this is a case of "cheating."

It's a subtle distinction.  Some might even say it's a pointless distinction.  So why make it?  Well, as the big day gets closer and closer I am beginning to realize that there might be events that call for some high calorie indulgence (the Rehearsal Dinner comes to mind...so does this week's Moot Court Banquet for that matter).  I don't want to consider enjoying those events "cheating." I just don't.   It doesn't seem fair to consider enjoying truly special occasions "cheating."  So I have invented the DA concept to allow me to face situations that are bound to call for calorie excesses without feeling like I am some sort of a failure.

That being said....with all this DA coming up, I really, really, really need to start the Shred.

*whimpers....*

35 Days Until Gown: NEED A PLAN.

(For maximum reading experience, click here).

Alright.   So.  Apparently when you go on a two-day diet vacation, it is the day after you get back on track (read: get rehydrated) that you really feel the damage.

Weight: 127.6. Oof!!   A full week behind schedule.  If you recall, this was last Monday's goal weight for a pedicure.  This is not good things.  This puts me 1.5 pounds over where I should be right now if I want to lose 1.5 pounds a week and get down to 120 for the wedding.  This is what we in the business call, "a huge f***ing setback." This. Is. Bad.

The lesson to be learned here: cheating doesn't pay.

So here I am, exactly 5 weeks out from the wedding and I need to lose 7.6 pounds to reach my goal, win the bet with my Father, conquer the gown, and save the world!  

What I need now is a plan. A plan to get back on track, ramp it up a notch, and still, somehow, find time to study for my rapidly approaching final exams.

My friends, I didn't want to have to do this, but I think it's time to reach into the Bag-O-Plans.

Plan 1:  The Anaconda Plan

Popularized during the 1860s, the Anaconda Plan refers to the systematic naval and terrestrial blockade of imports to the seceding states during the Civil War.  Put simply, the idea was to starve the people of the South into submission and force their return to the Union.  Last I checked, we are still, in fact, one nation which indicates to me that the Anaconda Plan worked.  If that plan could starve a bunch of surly rebels into rejoining the Union, then it can certainly starve me into losing 7.6 pounds in 5 weeks.  So, President Obama, would you mind cutting off the entire Southern portion of the country from any imports?  My guess is that before long the bars, restaurants, and grocery stores that have contributed to my demise will be out of business and thinness will ensue (and not just for me, but also for 2/3 of us that are overweight!)

Plan 2: The Jam Plan 


Popularized by the 1990s sitcom, Friends, the Jam Plan refers to Monica Gellar's plan to "get over her man" (ex-boyfriend Richard played by Tom Selleck) by doing nothing but making a ton of homemade jam.  Now, I am certainly not advocating that I try to get over Chunky Groom by resorting to strange cooking techniques. But I do think that a diet consisting of strictly jam might be just gross enough that I get violently ill and lose a ton of weight just like "that."

Plan 3: The Eating Disorder Plan


Inspired by the Jam Plan, why stop at eating nothing but jam?  Why not simply progress into eating nothing but...nothing?   Or perhaps, nothing for a really long time, and then a whole bunch of stuff all at once, and then puking?

No, on second thought, let's not do the Eating Disorder Plan.  It is a silly plan.

Plan 4: The 30 Day Shred


Inspired by Satan and brought to your living room by Jillian Michaels, the 30 Day Shred is actually a practical plan that would probably work.  And I already own the DVD.  And it's actually in my DVD player at this very moment.  And my elbow appears to be feeling better.  And I no longer have Moot Court obligations.  And it is roughly 30 days out from the wedding...

....this is making too much sense not to try.

Damnit!

39, 38, 37, 36 Days Until Gown...

Okay.  I think it's evident that I've been a bit remiss about blogging this week.   This week was crazy.  The 7 day period beginning last Friday involved so much Moot Court attention that I literally couldn't find the time to fit in blogging, school, and having some semblance of a life.  Hopefully, today will end the Moot Court madness and life can get back to normal.

I have some shortcomings to report.  On Friday and Saturday I went over my calorie limit both days.  Friday, I indulged in a slice of pizza (a pretty ridiculous, large, and topping filled slice) and quite a few more beers than I ought to have.  And Saturday I stayed true to the BBR in terms of meals, but I had more wine than I ought to have.

Currently, I am weighing in at 126.6 (-0.6 from last blog; -11.4 since beginning of the blog; -13.4 since my starting weight of 140)

So I posted a loss this week, but I am not going to be able to cheat like that in the long run if I want to reach my goal of 120 by the wedding day.  I said on the very first blog post ever: what is the point of the hard work during on the week if I am just going to blow it on the weekends?  I had my fun this weekend and now it's strictly back to the BBR.  I can't get cocky now and assume that the weight will continue to melt away if I don't keep doing the work.

Speaking of which, I have a meeting at school in an hour which gives me just enough time to walk there if I sign off now.

Signing off!

40 Days: It's All Routine

Okay, all "Jillian=the Devil" jokes aside there is something wrong with my right elbow after doing the Shred.  I thought that my arms were just sore--and, I mean, they were.  However after 2 days my arm muscles all feel a lot better but my right elbow is still in some pretty serious pain.  I can't fully extend it or fully flex it and it is tender to the touch.  I am hoping that it feels better soon because it's sort of an important joint.

In other news, something else is wrong: namely, my scale.

Weight: 127.4 (+0.2 from yesterday and the day before; -10.6 since beginning of blog)
Calories: 1200 (a little under)
Exercise: I'm out on injury! And I am "questionable" for tomorrow...(Has anyone else caught on that I am far more disciplined when it comes to dieting than working out?)

WTF, Sorting Scale?  You were hovering between 126.6 and 127.2 for the last two days.  How could I have gained some?!  I am not pleased.  Not at all.  Hmph.

Well.  There's not much to do about it except just keep doing what I am doing. This whole "dieting and very little drinking" thing has become so routine.  I was actually re-reading my earlier posts and it's amazing how far I've come in terms of making a "lifestyle" change.  I used to struggle to stick with the diet and find foods that fit the diet and avoid foods that would destroy the diet but now it's just sort of "what I do."  I don't really have to think about it at all.   I have a nice arsenal of foods that I've eaten so often with success that I know they are fine, and I am adding to that arsenal every day.  It's not really a struggle to not eat decadent stuff because I "just don't" eat decadent stuff.  I wonder if this is how newly converted vegetarians feel.

I am sure I will feel differently at the Moot Court Banquet that I am going to next week.  I am sure I'll want to go nuts.  But my first actual fitting where I'll get to see the gown is the next day I don't want to get too carried away.

Since the tribute to deliciousness, I've stumbled upon a couple more things that I think are just fantastic and worth a mention:

For Late-Night Snacking:

Pickled cauliflower.  Holy moly.  For the punch of an olive without the fat or calories (and without the dilly-ness of pickles), this is the best thing I've found.   Just 5 calories for a salty, tangy, spicy 1/3 cup of this stuff.  Yumness.

For All-Day Snacking and Energy:

Hard-boiled Egg Whites.  You cannot get more protein for fewer calories, folks (at least as far as I know). At 6 grams of protein and 17 calories a piece, I love these to keep my energy up throughout the day.  And they're user-friendly too: there's no need to refrigerate once they are boiled so I like to keep one or two in my purse at school.  And, yes, people think I am really weird when I peel them in the bathroom, but I am woman on a mission and, frankly, I am used to getting strange looks from people.

For When I Wanna Enjoy What Everyone Else is Having:

MorningStar Spicy Black Bean Burger.  Now that the weather is getting nicer I keep finding myself at these BBQs where everyone gets to enjoy hotdogs and hamburgers with reckless abandon.  These are my savior.  With cheese, condiments, bun, lettuce and tomato, the entire burger comes it at about 250 calories.  One word of warning for anyone who might try these: don't expect them to be a "meat" substitute--you'll just be disappointed because while tasty, these patties are not "juicy" like meat.  But they're still pretty good.  And because there is no meat I could, in theory, carry them around in my purse all weekend lest I end up at a BBQ.  But I haven't sunk so low yet. And that sounds a bit too gross to try. 

For When the Craving JUST WON'T GO AWAY:

Amy's Cheese Pizza.   Y'all, this pizza is the ONLY frozen one I have ever had that tasted one bit as good as a real, honest-to-goodness, restaurant-quality pizza.  It's the real deal.  And it's not particularly healthy (290 calories for 1/3 of a fairly small pizza).  But sometimes I just simply have to have pizza.  Real pizza.  Not crap-passing-for-pizza sold by Lean Cuisine, Smart Ones, and the whole crew.  This stuff is worth the splurge for the pizzeria flavor with calorie-transparency.

That's it for now!  Let's hope for some DOWNWARD progress tomorrow.

Sorting Scale, I command you to go down!

41 Days Until Gown: I'm Shrinking!!

I'm shrinking!!! Yes, indeedio.  If I were a garment, I'd be low-quality polyblend sold at Forever 21.

How did I come to learn that I was shrinking?  Well, I went in to get remeasured for my wedding gown. The first time she measured me was about 4 days before Matt and I took our engagement pictures.  See before shot:

At the appointment, we discovered that I've lost 3 inches from my chest, 3.5 inches from my waist, and 1.75 inches from my hips.  I was starting to think it was just my imagination that I wasn't losing weight in my lower half as quickly, but it turns out I was correct.

I wanted to ask her to measure around each of my thighs just so that I would know if I start shrinking there too, but seeing as that measurement would be completely irrelevant to the size of my dress I decided against it because she might have thought I was psycho or something.

In other news, I FINALLY STARTED THE SHRED.  And I finally realized why they call it the Shred.  It's because Jillian makes you wish that you could shred the f-ing DVD into a million pieces and stab her in the neck with the shards.

Now, I have to confess, I started the Shred...and I made it through about 8 minutes.   I am pretty sure that, aside from Jillian, Satan himself is the only person who can manage to cram so much misery into 8 minutes.

See the resemblance?

She started--STARTED!--the work out by making me do push ups.  What the deuce?! Push ups!?  Didn't she get the memo: I'm a girl!  I don't do push ups!  And if we must do them at all, could you at least give a girl some warning?  Like maybe do them at like minute 6 rather than right out of the gate?

After 8 minutes of the Shred my arms were done.  Just done. In truth, I could have done a lot more ab stuff and probably a bit more with legs.  But I couldn't even hold my poor little wine glass steady last night because my arm muscles were shaking and sore.

Today I will try to finish the Shred...or at least get into the double-digits of minutes doing the Shred.

Here are the stats:

Calories Consumed: 1300 (I cheated; I know...)
Weight: 127.2 (no change....which I'm happy with considering that I cheated)
Exercise: exactly 8.2 minutes of the Shred....which I am fairly certain doesn't count at all.  Although I am in a decent amount of pain today.

Signing off until tomorrow,

Spunky Bride

42 Days Until Gown: PEDICURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally!!  At long last!! I have actually reached a goal that I have set for myself and I get a treat!  And not a moment too soon!

Weight: 127.2 (-10.8 since beginning of blog; -2.0 this week) Alright so it's a bit of an upward spike from yesterday, but yesterday was hangover-assisted.  So I'll take it!  (And the Sorting Scale was really leaning towards 126.8 so hopefully tomorrow I'll reenter 126 territory).

Calories consumed: 1200.  I think I am sticking with 1200.  It appears to work.

Exercise:  I don't want to talk about it...

This is good news people!  I have got to thank everyone who suggested upping the calories to 1200.  I feel like I am actually losing weight faster this way...which seems so counterintuitive but it appears to work.  So I won't question it and just go with it.

I am so amped about getting my pedicure today. I am literally typing explosively and without regard for grammar or syntax or eloquence because the second I get off this computer I am getting in the car and entering the first place I pass that reeks of acrylic and acetone.

Can't wait.

44 and 43 Days: The End of an Era

I have some big news.  Some may even say sad news.  Just remember, all good things must come to an end.  Today we bid adieu to a good friend:  Chunky Bride.

It's official.  This bride is no longer chunky. 

Weight: 127.0 (yesterday); 126.6 (today) (-11.4 pounds since the beginning of the blog; -1.8 pounds since the last blog) Woo hoo!! I've passed the 10 pound mark! Finally! 

PROOF:

But wait, there's more.

Dress Size: 6; down from size 10. 

Jeans: Size 8; down from size 10. 

Suits: Size 6; down from size 10.  (Blazer size: Small, down from a snug fitting Medium). 

Shoes:  Exactly the same. It's so frustrating! 

(In case you haven't guessed, I played dress up this morning after seeing the number on the scale). 

 In light of the above statistics, I don't really think I can get away with the self-deprecating moniker "Chunky Bride" anymore.  Of course I'll still blog; there's still work to be done.  I prefer to still blog anonymously lest a prominent New Orleans legal employer stumbles across these ridiculous ramblings.    So I need a new name!   I can't think of any right now, but I am open to suggestions.  Nothing ridiculous like "Skinny Bride" as that would be a bit of a stretch. 

Also, in the interest of full disclosure, I stayed under my 1200 calorie limit both yesterday and the day before, but I did indulge in wine both nights so I wouldn't be surprised if my weight goes back up a bit tomorrow.  I am hoping to at least stay under 127.6 because that means I get a pedicure! Finally! 

Today I am super excited about having my life back after the craziness of Friday and Saturday.  I am going to reward myself with a nice 4 mile long walk to the tanning salon and some Whole Foods sushi.  (I am on much better terms with Whole Foods now that I know the nutritional info).  I can't wait. 

And also...tonight begins The SHRED.  I think that today is the perfect day to take on the sneering Hell Cat that is Jillian because my schedule is finally back to normal, I am amped up about fitting into a bunch of my clothes again, and tomorrow's high-stakes weigh-in calls for an extra burst of exercise today.  

Wish me luck!!!! 

Signing off forever,

Chunky Bride. 

45 Days to the Gown: The Fiance Speaks Out

Hi y'all!  Chunky Bride, here.  I just wanted to quickly post my stats before starting what will surely be one of the fullest days of my life (for the last few months I've been planning a huge event at the law school that takes place today and tomorrow). 


Weight: 128.4 NO CHANGE....grrrr
Calories: 1100 (I just can't get up to 1200 without going into shock)
Exercise:  The Shred (still) awaits. Oh, quit judging. It's a 30-day Shred, after all.  And last I checked, I still have 45! 


With that out of the way, I would like to proudly turn over the keyboard to my fiance so that he can share his take on this whole BBR thing.


Take it away, Chunky Groom! 


Okay so Chunky Groom is not into writing a guest column. That's fair.



I gotta be honest; tomorrow there will likely not be a post because I am crazy busy